CLV - Peace through force.

155

The Tsar Bomba being detonated in the Soviet Union in 1961. At 50 megatons, it is the largest nuclear device ever tested in human history.

That is the way peace was brokered half a century ago, however unconventional. However, in the 21^st century, is this still a solution?

“I do not know with what weapons World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones.”
-Albert Einstein

We don’t want a future when nuclear power is the driving force for politics, especially for certain countries...

Till then; treasure every day you have.~

CLIV - FREE

154

Free. Free. Free...

...from the clutches of the mid-year exams;
...from the restraints of study and mugging;
...from having to worry that I'll be late for a paper or for class;
...from being worried about what hurdle lies in the next corner.

Free...for now, at least.

But that means a host of other liberty-killers will take its place. My role in prepping my sis for her PSLE, for one, is undeniable. The other is my solemn duty to do my household chores. I heave a huge sigh. Life, however, goes on.

That can be said for my dear JC friends; their prelims are underway, and As are only 2 months away. To them I wish the best of luck; the torture is near over. =)

This month-long holiday is gonna be hectic, but I'll ride it through. Gym is going to be more frequent now!

To my poly pals, HAPPY HOLIDAYS =)

Till then!~

CLIII – Holiexams.

153

It's part holiday (which by the way stretches well into October), part exam (ending on the 16^th this month); part respite, part irritant.

It's the holiexams, a magical hybrid of endless hours on the computer and sprawling on bed with nearly as many hours (I tend to use the term nearly quite liberally, with just a hint of sarcasm) of studying and banging heads on the work-desk over a vexing trial paper. And it may sound like a paradox, being what it is; alas it isn't. Why so I can't say – it's just not paradoxical, 'nuff said.

Two papers have passed (Cust Relationship Mgmt & Macroecons Analysis I [which was an e-paper]), and now remains 3 others and a presentation (which can be damned if I don't score). Come the 16^th, it will be nearly pure holiday for a full month. Excited, you may ask? Splendidly so.

It's been a while since I last blogged, so this is a break of some sort, one of which I require. Otherwise I feel and fear that I will just go blind and dumb. Lots of things coming up, but my brain's recollection department has retired for the day, so no details. Just...........lots of things.

Oh and another thing – I'm turning 18 shortly. That means, amongst other things, alcohol and cars become legal. The former I can promise you will be strictly regulated (such 'luxuries' are few and far between). As for the latter: only time can tell....

There's little left to type for tonight, so I shall retire for now.

Till then!~

P.S. A random thought: I may be a commoner on the outside, but inside I feel as though I am like some sort of dandy, one with refined styles and tastes...could it be that I was once...?
Well, just saying. Night!

CLII - BREAKKKK

152

I'm one week late in typing this, but who gives a crap about what I write anyways?!

So yes, it's the long-awaited YOG break, and all I did this past week was, from highest frequency down: using laptop, helping siblings with homework, bonding day, falling sick...and gym. Isn't my life so predictable?

This week has also been filled with smiles, as well as tears. I'm torn between happiness and sorrow. It's a challenge that's befallen me, I know. That's why I'll try and pray hard so that I'll conquer it. And my family too, will conquer the demons.

My parents' greatest wish for me is to have a good life in the future, and what better time to prepare for that than now? Exams are looming 'round the corner; I'll prove to them that I can score, that that will be my redeeming factor. That is my very early birthday wish. They love me; I will not disappoint them.

Break is also my chance to become fitter. And it gets better – it's basically 2 months of exercise in a row. I'm sore from one session yesterday, and that points to a good start. My aim? Drop 5kg of fat, and gain as much, if not more, in muscle. It's as simple as that.

That's it for now. I doubt I'll have anything interesting to write after this, other than perhaps the fact that a few of my friends and I have been chosen to become brokers at some trading competition.

Yeah, that's about it.

Till then~

CLI - Interregnum

151

Title speaks for itself. As of now I'm in some sort of limbo.

There's a sort of lull in my projects (no kidding, there's still plenty to go), as well as in my tutorials and other stuff. This whole weekend is a lull.

The YOG break is about 2 weeks away; believe me, it's more jam-packed than I would be comfortable with, given what will be coming up following all the festivities. That's right—the fun before the maelstrom.

Exams: basically, the Big One. Almost ALL my modules will be represented then, and they will ALL account for 50% of my overall module grades. F-I-F-I-T-Y. If I am a no-show, I might as well just fail and drop out. It's terrible.

To make matters worse, the two modules I'm weak in now are representatives: FMI and MA1. Especially MA1. I feel shaky even just typing the very letters out. That tingly feeling.

So yes, interregnum indeed. Now I have to get over it, finish my RWPS report and presentation, conclude my MA1 country report, finish with Love Relations presentation, and so forth, before I get into revision proper. And I got a feeling; it's going to be one hell of a fight. As it nears, it even exudes a psychological aura just by thinking about it. Terrible, just terrible.

Like how the English Interregnum was England's disastrous attempt at republicanism, any more of that on my part will spell my academic doom. End of story.

Sad, isn't it? To clear one hurdle, only to find a gazillion more awaiting you, each higher than the last? The thought follows me, like a shadow.

So yeah, enough ranting, more revising! I must have that old O level fighting spirit!

Till then!~ =)

CL – Happiest 150!

150

Yeah, 150. Not a big milestone (should it be considered one? Guess not.), but nevertheless I shall ramble on.

I dug back through my blogging record and yeah, lots of changes. Not just in what I write, but how I write. My 1^st post, on August 30^th 2008, was about Os and how I'd miss the choir and Dunman Sec in general. Trying a blog for the 1^st time, of course I poked around my friends' blogs for some ideas, before making that 1^st nervous step into the blogosphere.

Here's an excerpt from that post, will keep it short, just to show how much has changed:

a chapter reborn...

looking back at my secondary school life, i am shocked at how fast time has flown, and how much things have changed...and now, with the year drawing to a close, i realise how precious these memories are, and never will i forsake them. haiz, why does it have to end so freaking soooooo-n?!

I see the difference. Do you?

It's been through a lot. I've covered it all: O levels, dedications, poems, Obama, my work stint at Marks & Spencer, results, posting, SP, Dunman, choir, friends, exams, F1...the list goes on.

As I grow, my styles have changed. Alot has changed. I only wish that my burning desire to succeed in academia remains. That is all.

Ere 2 years have come and nearly gone,
Times with frustrations; times with which I'm fond.
Apart from things, events that have come to pass
Fun with the choir, and fun with my class;
I hope the most, and that it will not fail
My grades and results, they shall prevail.

Oh and not forgetting
My friends, teachers, all of them
They've all certainly made
My life anything but a sham.

~~~
=)

Of course, all my posts can still be accessed...still. HAHA.

Till then!~

CXLIX – Yet more music.

149

There can never be enough good music, good pieces lying 'round in the internet. But perhaps I'd snatch a few and bring it here.

Give yourself a lifetime, and you'd never finish going through the whole lot. That's the general idea, at least.

And who says Latin is a dead language? Doesn't Latin exist in one of the most recognisable pieces of our time?

Behold the Man who is a bean! (It's the first piece playing on the Mixpod.)

Ecce Homo, qui est faba;
Ecce Homo, qui est faba!

Vale Homo, qui est faba;
Qui est faba; qui est faba!
Vale Homo, qui est faba!
Vale Homo, qui est faba!

Qui est faba.

Translated directly:

Behold, the Man who is a bean;
Behold, the Man who is a bean!

Farewell, Man who is a bean;
Who is a bean; who is a bean!
Farewell, Man who is a bean!
Farewell, Man who is a bean!

Who is a bean.

Anyone who has watched Mr Bean would know this instinctively. =)

Another one is an accompaniment to Vivaldi's Spring—Winter. You'd be caught in the dark if you have not heard it before, it's one of the most recognised pieces around. And it's one hell of a great piece, which is perhaps why it has survived for 295 years! Top that, Gaga! (Though it's absolutely unfair to compare it this way haha. :/)

When I feel hard-pressed, that's where I fall into. Its soothing notes and lyrics. It helps me through my day, like how others would depend on something else....yeah. Especially now, with projects and tutorials piling like an Everest everywhere I go. -.-

So I can sleep soundly now. Till the next day dawns, with the air filled with yawns, I shall sleep soundly.

Till then!~

CXLVIII – Results!

148

My blog is dying; it needs reviving. :/

So anyways, recall that rant about getting below GPA 3 and stuff like that those months ago? Then recall the resolutions I created for myself after that episode of ranting? All those As I need to claw my way back up?

The fruits of my labour are showing, better than expected! J

I took 4 papers; 3 have been returned. So far, it's 2As, 1C (CPF, of all topics zzz.), so it's pretty much fair game. So I can smile and say I'm well on my way! :D

A reality check, though: so far things have been going my way, but not with the likes of Macroecons, Report Writing or the like. Lecturers talk of how difficult the mid-years are going to be (50 %!!!), how tedious, how this, how that. Scary. Also, it's only been a term, so I'm only 1/8 the way through, which in perspective kinda sucks.

So yes, I can celebrate a little and stuff, but then I'll realise it's back to the grind, and the cycle repeats. EIGHT consecutive times, a real bugger.

This year isn't looking bad at all.

Till then!~

CXLVII – Dreams aren’t gonna just materialize.

147

Today I just talked to my parents about having our own family portrait taken when I graduate from SP (y'know, those graduation gowns you get to wear, which you see in pretty much every traditional family portrait). My dad agreed wholeheartedly; my mom...not really. She said to me to hold that thought till I graduate from University, so when people ask my mom silly stuff like where I graduated from she could say so with a little more pride.

Paper society, remember? In S'pore saying you got a degree or a masters sounds way better than saying you've got a diploma to feed you. Well, obviously, but hey, this is an Asian society as well, which means it's a society of saving face.

Which is why University is still a prime choice. Locally, preferably. Again, this isn't simple—think about all the other people out there who think the same way. That means I'll have to fight extra hard to get what I want, and need to attain. If not here, then overseas, if the necessity arises.

I've had enough of this procrastination. It's gotten me nowhere, but down. Way down. Like Sec 1 bad-results down. Being the shy one has gotten me nowhere either. Look what happened when I finally opened myself at FOC and FOP? It worked wonders, it achieved miracles. So away with the old, and in with the new! If I don't transform now, I might as well not do so, for it'd be too late.

I'd like to shed a few pounds. I'd like to study hard and do well for my sake. I'd like to be more open and friendly.

Oh, I'd like to have that family portrait taken too =) Hopefully in future when I see myself smile in the photo I will know it is one which is well and truly genuine and worthwhile.

Till then!~ Lots of holiday activities to occupy me for the next week and a half!

P.S. I've added a couple of new pieces, Pachelbel's Canon in D and J.S. Bach's Toccata und Fugue for the Organ. Hope they are worth listening to. =)

CXLVI – Tragedies of a Composer.

146

So, the exams are over. Did OK I guess, but only results can speak for themselves. Time to move on.

Lots of things happening this holidays, but I can't be bothered to list them out. There is no point in doing so anyways, so again, time to move on.

~

If life can be summed up in the chords of the piano, then I think I know just the person who fits the bill, one whose work reflects his outlook of life, as well as the life of his own. That's right, it's Frederic Chopin.

When you become really good with the piano, as I hear from many recordings, the chords and notes become a mere guide; it's the pianist who does the interpretation, and places the feeling in the music, things that make a listener discern between an amateur and a master, a maestro. And I guess when Chopin wrote all those Etudes and Sonatas he knew how pianists in future who play it would interpret it—that in the manner in which he had lived his life. As far as I have read, his isn't the happiest: he died impoverished and ill, and still so young.

If you listen to his work (I've put up Nocturne No.20, alongside the likes of Scriabin, Handel, Tchaikovsky and Vivaldi), you may notice something about his music, something...pained about it. Like as though he is chronicling his life in a series of works, subtly hiding the true intensions of publishing them, like saying, "Enjoy what I have missed, what I have lost, lest you end up in the state that I am in". Maybe that's not it, but that's how I see it.

Chopin's life is a tragedy; his work is anything but. And those beautifully placed notes on paper have become the most sought after the ears of the discerning. I've had enough of modern pop, for now. And as an exception, I shall move back...to when classics ruled the airwaves, when it was the blast of the trumpet, the squeal of the violin that struck a chord with the masses.

When true feelings, be it fear, anger, sadness, lunacy or sheer joy, did not need words for them to be expressed with absolute clarity.

Till then~ =)

CXLV – Issues, issues.

145

I'm in a major conundrum. An unexplainable, inexplicable conundrum. And it worries me, it bugs me.

Why so?

For those who know me and say MST, hell yes. It's 2 weeks from now, and it looks, ironically, harmless. I know my concepts; I know that banks must keep an MCB of 3% with the MAS, and 13-18% MLA, that there are loans out there which second-hand car dealers utilize to scam people, legally, and that the MAS does not wield all-mighty power, as MA1 formulae show. What I fear is the abstractness of it all, for not all that is taught is tested, not directly at least.

See, the financial world is full of uncertainty. New examples are being made every day. The questions may refer to them and, using the concepts which we have been taught, as a result we have to use intuition and some logic to get them answered. It's the subjectivity; much like the SS and Geog which I had much fear of back in my days at Dunman. That, I guess, will have to be dealt with a pinch of salt, lest I implode.

Also, it's the matter of formula, formulae. Especially with my MA1. If not for some rechecks and trial-and-error, as well as Flex, I might as well have flunked my BB test on Thursday. Not that there are many formulae, no. It's the many variations to it that frighten me so. For instance, A0 can be written in one way or another, given the number of autonomous parameters given, and K, the multiplier, can have a varying number of other dependant parameters on its own, mastering which will actually make things quite easy: almost the whole class scored full marks, fairly or otherwise.

So yes, I'm worried. And undermining whatever leftover time I have to revise are my country report, the report introduction corrections, as well as the questionnaires. It's really screwing me over.

And now for the bright side: I got into Yearbook as a journalist! Well, that was largely because I was only 1 of 2 people present for the interview. Went smoothly though, we shook hands and there we go! Time to rack up CCA points!

Also had a great time with some of the Devils @ the Cathay! Nevermind the fact that we waited for an hour to be seated at Aston's, at least we could chat and joke! Simply, it was great! Hope to meet up again soon!

Oh well. For all the worries I've piled up, isn't it time to revise?

Till then!~

CXLIV – Joke of the day...for intellects :/

144

An elderly man went to the doctor's to have his regular physical check-up.

Upon finishing the examination, the doctor asked the patient a question.

"How are you feeling?"

The old man replied: "I've never felt better! I've got an 18 year old for my bride, and she's heavy with my child!"

The doctor was rather surprised, but he quickly regained his cool and responded: "How about I tell you a little story?"

"OK, sure."

The doctor began. "There was once an avid hunter, who never missed a single hunting season in his life. One day, as usual, he was off to another open season but, in his eagerness and haste, grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun!"

"So he was in the forest alone, with an umbrella for a gun. As he was stalking a deer through the woods, a great big bear lumbered across his trail, menacingly headed for him. The hunter's instincts took over and, without hesitation, he squeezed the handle of the umbrella. The bear immediately fell forward, dead."

As the doctor concluded the sentence, he found the old man in a state of disbelief.

"How could it be", he spoke. "Someone else must have pulled the trigger!"

"Ermm...." the doctor replied. "I'm getting to that."
~

Well, if you didn't understand that...your loss. :D
Just something to break the silence.

Till then!~